What do u think of my book (Part 2)?

Posted under Led Wall Clocks by admin on Saturday 28 November 2009

This is part two of Break Into Eternity!

I thought I was going to lose my mind. Who was going to take care of me? I didn’t have any family left. My father left my mom when I was born and I never heard from him since I was five. My grandparents died when I was younger. I had no godparents. Nothing.
Foster care was the first thing in my mind and I knew I didn’t want to go there, but what else could I do? Well, they put me up for adoption because in my mother’s will it says that if she was ever to die I get put up for adoption in the hope that my dad will adopt me. If he ever knew I was here, which he didn’t, so that was pretty much a useless idea. Now I have been here for six weeks. I don’t know what I’m going to do, live here my whole life? A lot of the kids in this place have been here since birth…
I started drifting off. My eyelids closing, falling asleep, awaiting what the new day would bring.
The light coming through the clear windows woke me up. I looked at the clock and it read 9:12 AM. I was exhausted, but it was Saturday so I planned to go back to sleep, until the phone rang.
I answered it. “Hello?” I said in a hoarse voice.
“Is this Clare Lenora?” The voice on the other line spoke in my ear.
“Yeah, why?” I was wondering why the office people in the adoption center would be needing me at nine o’clock in the morning.
“Well, we found where your dad lives. We need you down here immediately.” I was puzzled I couldn’t think strait. Was I dreaming? Did they really know where my dad lives?
“M-my dad?” I nearly whispered into the phone.
“Yes,” I didn’t believe any of it.
“Oh, ok. I’ll be in the office in a second I just have to get ready.” I said in a rush.
“We will be waiting.”
“Thanks you, bye,” I hung up, and ran my fingers through my hair trying to figure everything out. Then got up off my bed and tiptoed through the room trying not to wake my roommates. I grabbed my clean clothes from the drawer near the closet, and stepped inside the bathroom. First I looked in the mirror seeing my pretty blue eyes with dark purple circles under them. I felt like a dead girl walking. My fingers wiped my eyes and then they made their way to the tooth brush and toothpaste. When I was done brushing my teeth I took a shower scrubbing my brownish-red hair that fell to my shoulders, and dressed in a hurry. When I was about to leave Stacy and Adri were awake and asked what was going on.
“Nothing, I’ll tell you later.” And I slammed the door. I could hear them yelling something to me as I was outside the door, but I didn’t really care. I fast walked down the hallway and then pressed the elevator buttons one too many times. When I was in the office I saw a few people. There was a woman, probably the one that called me, behind a desk with a computer and phone on it. She had strawberry blond hair up in a neat bun, and wore a grey suit with diamond ear rings that looked like they were worth a lot of money. I also saw a man sitting in a chair by the exit door. He looked like he was in his sixties with his grey, almost white, hair. He wore a black suit and tie.
“Hello, you must be Clare, my name is Donna.” She got up to shake my hand. The man in the chair was reading a vacationing magazine I noticed, when I looked up at him I could tell he was peeking up from his magazine to see what was going on.
“Hi,” I said to Donna.
“Please, come this way.” She gestured to a long hallway with her hand, and I went in that direction. As we went down the hallway I noticed there was a lot of drawings and paintings on the wall, from the littler kids here I guessed. Donna led me into a room with a desk with a computer on it and two chairs sitting across from it. I sat down in a chair. “Wait here I will be right back.” She left the room, and I was alone to look around. I got up from the chair I was sitting in and looked out the window by lifting the blinds. The sunlight was blinding, I quickly closed them. I scanned the wall. Picture. Picture. Document. Window. Clock, found it, I thought. It was now 11:00 o’clock. I sat back in my chair and before I knew it Donna was back with a different man who looked younger than the one in the waiting room, about in his twenties or thirties.
“Good morning,” he said with a smile, he looked very cheerful. “My name is Mister Winifred, but u can call me Shawn if you’d like.”
“Ok,” I couldn’t decide what to call him. Was it really that hard of a decision? Mister Winifred, or Shawn, sat down at the desk and Donna stood at his side. They looked as if they were dating or married. Then Donna spoke up.
“Ok let’s cut to the chase. We have found where your father lives, we called him and he has agreed to let you live with him. If you didn’t know his name is Henry Lenora, I see you have taken his last name, and he lives in Manchester, New Hampshire. He has a wife, Linda, and a daughter, Olivia.” She said it all in a rush I didn’t quite catch it all.
I thought for a second, just be
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ar.EUKMAfCXzLQ.XEuuuTgTsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090524010819AATBbGx

Part 3 check it out!

It’s hard to tell how well I’d like it — all I can tell is that you write with proper grammar but not beautiful prose and that the plot involves adoption. Nothing here makes me particularly care about the characters or what happens to them.

Website For Manufacturer Of ‘Silicon Scientific’ Atomic Wall Clock?

Posted under Atomic Wall Clock by admin on Saturday 28 November 2009

I’ve Looked For The Web Site Of ‘Silicon Scientific’ Atomic,RF Wireless With Thermometer & Come Up With A Lot Of Sellers Of The Clocks Of Other Makers, But No Specific Web Site.
The Only Seller Of This Model Seems To Be A Reseller/Re-Builder Of Everything You Thought You Needed At http://www.heartlandamerica.com/

Consumer Electronics> Other Electronics
Apparently ‘Radio Shack’ http://www.radioshack.com Is Selling Them As Well.
Same Product, Just Under Their Brand Name.
I Wonder Who Made This Clock In The 1st Place & If I Will Ever Find Out Who That Manufacturer Is ????
PS
I Live In Puerto Rico Which According To The Very Limited Description Manual That Came With The Clock, I Am Just Out Of Range Of The ‘Radio Frequency Emanating From The ‘WWVB’ Radio Station Located In Boulder, Colorado [ I Haven't A Clue As To What Those Initials Stand For] USA Which Updates Every Day At 1:00AM "When There Is Less Interference.

That’s a tough one, I cant find it, "Silicon Scientific" will be a brand name front, probably made by a large company but I can’t find who

i’m writing a novel. i need some feedbacks?

Posted under Kitchen Wall Clocks by admin on Saturday 28 November 2009

here’s a preview..

Preface:

I’m doing my best to run; trying to make my feet move. Don’t stop! You need to keep running! I told myself. But my feet are starting to feel heavy, my hands trembling of the unknown danger and my head suffering from great pain.
My body is starting to get tired of all the running and dizzy from all the visions and figures. I didn’t want to scream but the pain was so powerful. What’s going on?! I protested. Nothing was making any sense; figures after figures, but none of them were clear. Then I felt my feet gave up; I was lying on the floor, helpless. I gathered my courage to try and look back but there was nothing there; I was alone. I tried to stand up, but my feet weren’t responding.
Am I going to die? Will they kill me fast enough that I won’t feel anything? Or will they torture me slowly to death?
Is this really it? I asked myself, waiting for my death.

Chapter 1: Dreams and Visions

It was already dark outside when I noticed that I was wide awake. The night was so still, not a sound of cricket; just the irritating ticktocks’ of my wall clock, the cold gushing wind coming through my opened window and my dog’s––Puppy––disturbing barks.
I found myself sitting up on my bed; sweating and trembling.
“It was just a dream. It was just a dream.” I sighed, comforting myself. But it was so real. The only difference is that I’m the third person; watching myself from afar. I convinced myself to slumber but my eyelids wouldn’t even dare to close. Every time I try to, I keep seeing my dream, or more like my nightmare.
It was already one in the morning when I decided to go down to the kitchen. The darkness in the hallway was blinding; I let my fingers traced the wall, searching for the switch. I stumbled quite a few times before I found it.
I got down the stairs and grabbed a glass of water. My hand was still quivering; spilling drops of water on the floor.
I took a towel in my hand, clutched my fingers together––to stop the shaking––and got on my knees, wiping the drops.
My mind was wandering of, thinking of things I dreamt. But it was all silhouettes; nothing was clear. Thinking about it just brings me headaches. I sat down––tired from kneeling––on the cold marble tiles, laid my head back on our wooden back door, closed my eyes and tried to relaxed. I breathe in and out some hard gasps and finally stood up.

please review.. thanks!
oh, this is my FIRST novel.. please give me a little break from harsh feedbacks.. thank..

~_~

oh, QUESTION.. should i use preface or prologue? or neither?
Please give proper review and not just a simple "it’s awesome!" or "it sucks!"….thanks!
well, this is just some of the parts of the story..the rest of the explaining is going to happen a few sentence further..sorry if i confused everyone..please keep on reviewing and giving tips and i’m doing my best to follow it..thanks!

Critics are harsh. You may be heartbroken, but in the long run it helps you write better novels. I’ve read only the first two sentences and already found something wrong. I’m very picky with writing so I don’t think I’ll read through as I don’t think you can handle real judgement. What I noticed in the first two sentences was you’re using more than one tense. You say you’re "DOING my best to run" (Present), but than you use past tense in things like "the pain WAS so powerful" and, "I TOLD myself". Pick ONE tense.
Don’t start sentences with, "but".
And the word "protested" doesn’t work where you put it. Protesting is kind of like argueing.. If you’re in "great pain" as you put it, and screaming.. You wouldn’t be "protesting", you’d be.. well.. wondering. Even "wondering" is too delicate a word for such a painful situation. And you felt your feet "give up", not gave up. Also… I’m guessing that since you have an "all knowing" narrator, aka your narrator is someone’s thoughts/from a character’s point of view – That character is your main character? And I’d also assume that since she/he’s in such a pickle, that they are supposed to be the books hero. If you have your hero wondering how she’s going to die.. Well that’s not very heroic. Have her panic, but at the same time think of ways to get out of the situation she’s landed herself in.

I won’t bother to read Chapter 1… You’ve got a good idea going, but love CRITICISM IS GOOD WHEN YOU’RE WRITING A NOVEL. It helps you write. Ask for it when you’ve got more though, so you won’t give up so easily. And DON’T GIVE UP. This could be something. A couple more things – Don’t use the same word twice in one sentence, and describe things, but remember people want to visualize things for themselves. Try not to describe a bunch of different things in one sentence.

Happy writing!! Don’t let anyone ruin what you’re passionate about.

Trivia Riddle about clocks!!!!!?

Posted under Antique Wall Clocks by admin on Saturday 28 November 2009

Walking into an antiques shop, you notice several clocks on the wall. The first clock reads 9:00, the second reads 6:07, the third 10:45, the fifth 7:45, the sixth 7:52, and the seventh 4:37.

What should the fourth clock read?

don’t know cos you didnt notice it

How much light do yoou need the presence of to sleep sound?

Posted under Digital Wall Clocks by admin on Saturday 28 November 2009

I can’t sleep until it’s total darkness I’ve even put a sticker on the AC’s digital screen
Same problem with sound!! Can’t tolerate the tickin’ wall clocks or the brushing trees!!!!! If I shut all doors and windows there’s a lack of oxygen!!!!

MAN!!!,It’s not easy being a vampire!!!

i can sleep in any position, anywhere and anytime if i have to. if i can choose i don’t like total darkness and clocks drive me crazy too.
the only sound i love when i sleep is my daughter’s breath.

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