I’m writing some prose just for fun and it’s been going pretty well. But Chapter 3 gave me a lot of trouble. Does anyone know how I can improve it?
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Jeannie could not help but notice how her flame red hair clashed with the fluorescent pink walls. Pulling her sleeping bag over her head, she attempted to keep her eyes focused on the subpar horror movie. Three platinum blondes huddled together on the floor below, transfixed by the events unfolding on the flat screen.
“Oh my God, oh my God,” Tracy shouted, “Don’t open the door Lulu, don’t open the…”
Window-shattering screams rung through the room as Lulu met a bloody end. Tracy and Claudia clutched the purple, heart-covered quilt to their chests in unadulterated terror. The ending credits rolled and Jeannie sighed with relief; one more high-pitched squeal and her head would have exploded. Crawling over the polished floorboards, Wendy retrieved the remote and pressed the off button.
“That was so scary,” Claudia gasped, hands clasped over her chest, “I mean…wow.”
Her friends nodded in agreement while Jeannie pulled faces from her perch on the end of the four-poster. Silently Jeannie cursed her Aunt Celia for dumping her in the middle of the froufrou sleepover hosted by Wendy and her two clones. She knew she would not get a wink of sleep; the room was so sugary sweet it bordered on disturbing. Airbrushed pop stars posed and pouted within their vibrant paper prisons. An army of stuffed animals was congregated on the painted shelves lining the walls, dissecting her with their beady eyes.
“I know, like I was just about ready to die when that vampire came out of the closet,” Wendy agreed.
While attempting not to laugh at Wendy’s nasally voice Jeannie’s eyes drifted to the flower-shaped wall clock. The elegant hands told her that it was approaching nine o’clock. Trick-or-treaters were still arriving on the doorstep of the white-washed mansion, hoping that they would receive a fistful of money when the candy supplies dried up.
“Jeannie!” Tracy yelled, dissolving the thoughts clouding her head.
“What?” she answered in a more irritated voice than she intended.
“We were taking a vote on what to do next,” Wendy informed her, flicking a blonde curl away from her cheek.
“Whatever you guys wanna do. I don’t mind.”
Mascara laden eyes blinked at the lack of enthusiasm in her voice. Twirling bleached strands of hair around their fingers and pursing their lip-gloss smothered lips, the girls’ eyes glazed over in thought. Awkwardly aware of how incongruous she was Jeannie plucked at the lace lining of her plain black pyjamas. Pink fur and silk bows ordained the others’ nightclothes. Identical pairs of bunny slippers completed the matching sets. Unease bubbled in her stomach as she waited for the trio to come up with something worse than the movie, the makeover and the pillow fight. Suddenly Claudia jumped up, clapping her hands together and squealing like a demented pig.
“I’ve got it,” she shrieked, “Let’s do something really freaky and cool.”
Tracy got to her feet and asked, “You mean pierce our own ears?”
“No,” Claudia replied, beaming, “Let’s cast a spell. You know, since it is Halloween and all.”
Prising herself from the floor, Wendy threw her two loyal followers a smirk that screamed conspiracy.
“Yeah, that sounds like it could be fun,” the host agreed.
She bounced over to the cerise state-of-the-art computer. The PC rested on a polished pine desk which was cluttered with an assortment of cosmetics, novelty pens and enough hair products to destroy the ozone layer a dozen times over. Claudia and Tracy trailed after their friend obediently. It took them twenty minutes to find a ‘legitimate’ spell site. Another five minutes were taken up convincing Jeannie to get off the bed and help them choose a spell. Finally, Wendy had managed to write the words of a summoning ritual onto her notepad with a pen that had six inch long feathers sprouting from its top.
“Ok, so it says that you have to do it on hallowed ground,” Claudia read the on-screen instructions.
“What does that mean?” Tracy pondered.
“Sacred ground,” Jeannie informed her wearily, “Like a graveyard.”
She could see where this was going; the town graveyard was practically in Wendy’s backyard.
“Oh my God, this is too perfect; the graveyard’s just up the road,” Claudia enthused.
Ripping the page from the notepad, Wendy brushed the tips of the feathers across her cheek in thought.
“I think you should be the one to read it out, Jeannie,” Wendy stated in a nauseatingly innocent voice.
Hazel eyes darkening at the comment, Jeannie replied, “And why do you think that?”
Wendy bared her teeth in a sneer that would have made the Queen of England feel inferior to the teenager.
“Well, you’ve had e
Cooooool:)
I like it it’s really my type!
I looove it!