Proudly showing off his new apartment to a friend late one night, the drunk led the way to the bedroom, where there was a big brass gong. "What’s the brass gong for?" asked the friend. "It’s not a gong, but a talking clock," the drunk replied. "A talking clock? How’s it work?"
"Watch this," said the drunk. He took a hammer, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and waited. Someone on the other side of the wall screamed: "Hey, you jerk. It’s 3:00 in the morning!"

why yes I can

Two burglars were robbing an apartment when all of a sudden they hear someone open the front door. They open the window, and the first burglar says "quick jump out"
The second one says back: "I can’t we’re on the 13th floor"
The first one says back: "this is no time to be superstitious"
o.O

I’m going to try and put in as much as I can remember about my dream last night. The following is total fiction.

My boyfriend and I had a baby girl. It was not a traditional relationship – we had a rent an apartment and I had a restaurant job I had to walk to daily. My mother had to watch the baby often. I remember holding the baby girl and her high-fiving her dad and laughing hysterically.

Then, one night I couldn’t make it home in time. I ran the whole way home. My mother was supposed to pick up the baby to watch her but wasn’t able to. I came home to the baby lying on our bed, staring into the corner of the room. I kept trying to get her attention, with intermittent success. Mostly, though, she would return to staring away from me. It was a creepy sensation. I remember I tried to talk in my sleep – "Its a demon."

Still trying to do the best I could, I invited some friends from work over to our apartment. It was kind of a secondhand gesture to try and gain some friends since I had lost the ones I had. When I was walking home, I received a call and was told the baby was all by herself. I remember running, not caring about the friends following me home. I follwed a similar path that was familiar to me in other dreams home. I remember the gravel under my feet and how I didn’t stop even though my thighs were burning. I raced home and opened the door. I rushed through the house only to find my boyfriend watching TV. He told me mother had already come and to calm down.

I couldn’t get the sense of panic out of my system. I had an eree feeling. The friend I had invited walked in – they had found my house. I told them, "I’ve felt the need to get rid of the presence in the apartment for some time," and I went to get some incense. I flicked the incense throughout the apartment even though I had none. Then, I sat down, and asked anybody if they had any ideas about how to get rid of the creepiness I knew had taken a stay in my apartment. They said no.

I then began to stare at my digital clock on the wall, sitting in my chair. I don’t remember the time. I remember looking deeply into that clock and noticing that there was a reflection in the clock of the living room on the other side.

I looked deeply into it. There was a little girl, a toddler, dancing around the exercise equipment in the living room. She was dressed in a black dress. Looking over, there was nobody there.

In that moment I remember being half awake and trying to scream. There were three guttural screams before I managed to get out, "Its a little girl." I then woke up.

What does it mean?

Ok of this is all one dream this is crazy!!! the color black usually follows a premonition of death. dont mean to scare you but it doesnt always mean someone close to you.. could be a friend of a friend or family member or vise versa, then clock – an alert for time (something important is coming up! keep track dont forget!!) – you always running – depends on what exactly for means yr tryna keep up w others forgetting yu.. or unexpected fortune at others expense.. the baby depends on if yu have a bby or not and if the bby in yur dreams was yours.. too much to go bit by bit but what im getting is that something bad is coming but w something good attached. seems like yur gnna hve to make an important decision very soon.. hope i helped.

You can answer the question or read my bizarre experience if you want.

I am currently Atheist, due to too many complications with religious psychosis and OCD during my younger days. Actually my story takes place on June 6th 2006. 06/06/06 666. Anyways, I finished watching the movie that came out that day about the exorcism of Emily Rose. I was scared poopless when I went to sleep at night, but felt alright because I had a huge Jesus on the cross canvas and the Virgin Mary statue and lots of rosaries and holy water of course. K so here it goes. I wake up exactly 2:55 am, I have a digital clock next to me, I feel uneasiness. I swear to you people, right when that clock hit 3am, the Jesus canvas falls from its place on the wall falling onto all the statue, holy water bowl, rosaries and literally knocks them over breaking EVERYTHING as well as ripping the canvas. I screamed and woke my parents up, they were like im crazy. I said YOUR crazy, that canvas had been on the wall for 3 years now, why today, why 3am when the movie signifies the Devil’s approaching time. Maybe if enough minds focus on a subject, wierd things can happen? Very paranormal……….
Hmm….murders in the sense that we are sending 18 year olds to Afghanistan for the past few years so they can "kill" off the so-called "bad" people. Wow. God seems very lenient.

There is always an opposition to a force. A good force, will always have a negative force pushing against it. We can explain this by physics and it also works with the spiritual world.

I also watched the movie "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" and other shows about the paranormal. Nothing has happened except that I get easily freaked out for a couple of days after I see the shows because I’m "looking for" the stuff that I’ve seen on the shows and I catch glimpses that spook me, but they’re not really what I had thought of them to be in the first place after I take a deep breath and investigate.

Its coincidence that what you experienced happened and it was obvious it was the plan of the theater or network to air the movie before the day of 06/06/2006. These things were literally done to influence you by very creative marketing managers in the media industry.

Need to buy a new and nice wall clock. Please suggest some stores somewhere near Thane, Mumbai

you can visit a shop named MANGO near thane station west side, or you will also get nice collections of wall clocks on ram maruti road satyam collections

(1) John was nice looking, and he did well in school. (2) However, John was also known
for having a volatile personality. (3) One day, when his track coach criticized him, John
lost his temper. (4) He stormed back to the locker room muttering under his breath.
(5) When the incident was reported to his parents, John was grounded for a week.
(6) He was also required to write a letter of apology to his coach.
Which two sentences in the paragraph help you define the word volatile?
A. 2 and 3 C. 4 and 6
B. 3 and 4 D. 1 and 6

Which of the following groups of words best defines the word volatile?
A. Moody and thoughtful C. Anxious and depressed
B. Temperamental and impulsive D. Bad-tempered and mea

Read the following paragraph. The sentences are numbered to help you answer
the question.
(1) Many historians consider Abraham Lincoln one of the great presidents of the United
States. (2) He led the nation through a great civil war and signed the Emancipation
Proclamation in 1863. (3) However, Lincoln’s critics point out that he freed the slaves only
in the states that had broken away from the Union. (4) Therefore, it’s clear that Lincoln
was more interested in hurting the South than in freeing the slaves.

Which sentence most clearly expresses opinion rather than fact?
A. 1 C. 3
B. 2 D. 4

You can use trick sentences or rhymes as mnemonic devices to recall information. For
example, you can recall this rhyme: “In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.” The rhyming
of “2” and “blue” should help you remember that Columbus arrived in the New World in 1492.
Or you can use the sentence “Every good boy does fine” to remember the notes of the
treble clef in music notation. Simply name the first letter of each word in the “nonsense
sentence” to remember E,G,B,D, and F—in that order.You can also recall information by
using acronyms. An acronym condenses information into an abbreviation expressed as
a set of capital letters. For example, WHO stands for the World Health Organization. To
recall the names of the Great Lakes, you can associate the names of the lakes with the
acronym HOMES to remember Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, and Superior.
Which of the following best expresses the main idea of this paragraph?
A. Mnemonic devices are silly sentences while acronyms are abbreviations.
B. You can use mnemonic devices to recall information.
C. Mnemonic devices are usually rhymes while acronyms require definitions.
D. Acronyms are easier to recall than mnemonic devices, but both are useful.

Lucas was a voracious reader, absorbing novels, biographies, and popular science books.
His standardized test scores were all quite high. He also got along fine with other kids
during recess, laughing and playing like a perfectly normal twelve-year-old. But when the
bell rang for class, his facial expression changed. An observer might have been reminded
of a prisoner returning to his cell. In class, Lucas was one of those kids who slouched at
his desk in the back of the room, gazing out a window or trying to find ways to allay his
boredom. To that end, he often drew pictures of spaceships. He also drew pictures of
dragons attacking spaceships. When truly inspired, he drew pictures of alien monsters
attacking dragons, thus allowing his spaceships to escape to distant galaxies. Indeed, the
inside of his desk was a dense clutter of these fanciful sketches. By late afternoon, too
drowsy for dragons, alien monsters, or spaceships, Lucas would gaze hopefully at the
white clock on the wall, willing the second hand to move faster, faster. Of course, it never
moved faster, and, inevitably, he would only become more and more impatient with the
painfully slow movement of the hour hand.

The main idea we can get from this paragraph is that
A. Lucas was obsessed with science fiction.
B. Lucas was irresponsible, but artistic.
C. Lucas was smart and creative, but bored with school.
D. Lucas was poorly adjusted and possibly mentally ill.

The word voracious, found in the first sentence of the paragraph, probably means
that Lucas
A. was a rapid reader. C. read a lot of science fiction.
B. read a lot of books. D. was a rapid but careless reader.

The word allay, as used in the paragraph, is best associated with
A. avoiding. C. despising.
B. preferring. D. detesting.

OMG! I’m all over this game;-)