What do you think of this part of my book?

Posted under Kitchen Wall Clocks by admin on Monday 11 January 2010

I groaned as I got out of the car. I realized that it was raining, so I ran under the roof of my soon to be house. I sat at the front porch as my mom unloaded the car.
“Could you come over and help me, honey?” mom asked politely.
I walked over to her and pulled out the suitcases out. I rolled them over onto the deck. I hated moving to a new house. Leaving my friends was hard, and the worst part was saying goodbye. I lifted the vase on the right hand side of the door. I grabbed the key and unlocked the front door. The inside was well lit and clean. I walked up to my bedroom and it brought back memories from when I was 5. I heard someone come in the house downstairs. That was probably mom. I decided to take a shower and clean myself up. After that I ran down to have some dinner.
“So, how do you like it here?” Vivian said happily. I turned my head from the kitchen counter and realized she was sitting on the living room couch watching TV.
“It’s nice, I guess”
“Is something wrong?” She said pitiful.
“No. It’s just that this place brings back a lot of memories,”
“Well,” she said turning her head back to the TV “you’ll have to get used to it. You’re going to live here until you graduate. Anyway, that won’t be so long considering you’re 16.”
“Ok, mom.” I said kindly.
“Oh, and Ebony, one more thing” she added “Get some rest. You look really tired” I smiled at her and made some food for the both of us. Vivian is and always was a bad cook, so I always had to cook the food myself. I left some food on the table so Vivian could eat some herself when she felt like it. I ate it slowly on the kitchen counter listening to the radio music. I ran upstairs to go to bed. I was all wet and in inappropriate clothes for sleeping. I really needed to change! I walked over the closet and opened it about to fall asleep standing. That would be possible in my condition.
I realized that it was empty. Oh yeah, I didn’t unpack yet. I ran down and tiptoed to my suit case and rolled it upstairs, making sure I didn’t disturb Vivian. I let it fall on my bedroom floor with a loud landing. I opened it and pulled out my shorts and shirt. I changed. I didn’t bother picking up my suit case or closing it. I was too tired. I plopped down on my bed and fell right asleep. That night I dreamt about my other friends and my city. I could feel the tears run down my face even though I was sleeping. It was a happy and an emotional dream at the same time. I woke up early morning. The sun lit on my face. It hurt my eyes. I jumped out of bed and went to brush my teeth, afraid of having some bad morning breath. Why is she awake so early? I don’t blame Vivian for thinking that. In my previous town, Akria, I had always woke up late, usually about 1pm.
“Come down stairs and have some breakfast, honey” Vivian called from the kitchen. I could hear the sizzles coming from the frying pan.
“In a minute mom!” I said walking into my room and slammed the door behind me. I quickly changed my clothes and ran downstairs and into the kitchen. Vivian kept her eyes on the frying pan.
“So how did you sleep last night?”
“I slept pretty well” I answered taking my seat on the kitchen chair.
“Good. But why did you wake up so early this morning? You usually get out of bed really late” she said, her voice full of wonder.
“I have no idea. It’s probably because I knew there was school today. I’m nervous”
“Well, you better eat quickly if you want to get to school on time. Schools starts at nine” she pointed to the clock hung on the wall right above the kitchen door.
It was already 8:30. I needed to hurry. Vivian plopped the burnt eggs and burnt bacon on my plate. Like I said, she was not a good cook. I ate as fast as I could. I ran upstairs and grabbed my bag and headed out the door.
“Honey, you forgot something!” Vivian yelled after me. I looked back and she threw me a key. “It’s for the car.” she informed me. I spotted some car in front of the garage. It was a 2018 Toyota car.
“Thanks, mom!” I yelled back at her. I hope she drives well. I sighed. Mom, worried again as usual.

Chapter#2 Shool

I ran towards the car and unlocked it with they key. The door opened and the lights were well lit inside. The T.V. lowered from the ceiling and the T.V. turned on. It was some old 60’s music video. I changed it to some other random channel. It turned out to be a pop music video from this year. “Ah, that’s the kind of 2020 pop music I like” I whispered to myself quietly. I started the engine. It roared like a lion, and then the sound faded. I drove all the way to school and parked it in the parking lot. I walked out of my car. There were a million thoughts. It was confusing. I couldn’t ignore them. I walked into the building. I could feel the stares on my back of the kids. They always want to know more about the new kid. I felt safe after I entered the doors of the administration. No more kids. Just staff members. I walked up to the lady at the front desk.
“Ex
sorry about the mistakes!! I’m going to revise it and change some parts. Thanks for your nice comments. BTW im only 11 and I wrote this :P
cuse me” I said politely in a soft voice making sure I wouldn’t disturb the others. She looked up at me with her blue eyes and her face happy. She had short brown pixy like hair. She looked too young to be working in an office in a school. Another new student. Good thing I have my map ready…. Seems like one of those soft people. I spotted her name tag. “Carla Shepry” Nice name I thought to myself.
“Oh. Hi there. It seems you’re new here. Would you like some help?” she offered in a soft sweet voice.
“Yes, I do. Could I please have a map and schedules for my classes?”
“Sure” she handed me two sheets of paper. One was the map, and the other was the schedule. “You have math first period”
“Thank you” She looked away and continued writing. What a sweet girl. I wish I stayed in high school That explains it all. I knew she was too young. I walked out and into the hall way. The kids were walking around everywhere. I didn’t know where to go. There were different thoughts and lots of thinking
. I was confused. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I had a quick reaction and looked back as if I thought it was a monster. I didn’t know my expression on my face. Was it scared? Sad? I had no idea.
“Hi there. I’m Maverick. Maverick O’Connor” he said politely with his hand held out. He had short blond hair with his bangs swiped to his right. I stared at him not knowing what to do. His hand was held out. Maybe I should shake. I held out my hand and we shook.
“Hi, I’m Ebony…. Ebony Vera Philips” my voice seemed a little shaky. He smiled when he heard my name. He seemed nice.
“It’s nice to meet you, Ebony Vera Philips” he smiled a bigger smile. We let our hands go and back to our sides. “Do you need help getting around?”
“No it’s fine. Have a map and schedule. I’ll figure it out… soon enough” I said smiling back at him. He laughed.
“What do you have first period?” he asked curiously.
“Math” I said in a low whisper. I could barely hear myself. Luckily my mind reading was turned to off.
He was probably thinking about how stupid I was. It’s a good thing I can read their minds but only when I want to.
“Oh! What a coincidence. So do I. Should I show you the way?” He smiled again, but not as big as the previous smile.
“Hmmm… Well, I guess. Show me the way tour guide” I laughed jokingly. He grinned. We started walking to class.
“So how do you like it here so far here in Spira High and College, Ebony?” he asked looking angelic as he was looking at the hall and glancing at me.
“It’s pretty nice I guess” I said shyly. He just smiled. We reached the stairs. It was white and shiny. We walked up the shiny stairs until we reached the 2nd floor. It seemed that was the top floor. We finally reached the math room. The door had a colorful sign which said “MATH!” on it. It had rainbows, calculators, and numbers surrounding it.
“Here we are. Math class. I’m going to have to sit with my friends, because I promised them. Do you mind?” He asked with a frown on his face. He looked

Why does she have memories if it’s a new house?
Why did she let the suitcase fall on the floor with a "loud landing" if she was just previously rolling it up the stairs so as not to disturb Vivian?
Also, you interject first person thoughts from Vivian into first person narration by the main character, which is confusing.

The mind-reading part doesn’t flow very well either.

Since you’re 11 it’s pretty good…. just a lot of dialogue and kind of a slow plot line.

Only In The Dark :.Jovin.: Chapter Two

Posted under Kitchen Wall Clocks by admin on Sunday 10 January 2010

Read Here;;

Joe POV

“This is the last time I’m doing this.” Just like that shes gone, maybe it was Kevin’s voice. “You OK Joe?” I feel Kevin gently touch my face. His hands were never cold, but this time they are cold as ice. I don’t pull away because I knew she had something to do with this. I snap out of it and tug him to the bed. He opens the baggy, I watch in intisapation. I knew the things it would do to him and I loved it, God! I was practically drooling just watching him. He made a line for himself. I watched him snort it devilishly, the white powder coating his nose lovingly. I saw it take full affect, his dark brown eyes dilated, his face was flushed with bliss. I knew this was what he needed.

I touched his curly brown locks of hair, this was when he was the most vulnerable and of course fuckable. Happy Birthday to me.
____________________________________________

I edited out the smex
If you would like to read that part
just tell me and I’ll send it you! :}
____________________________________________

I got up to take a shower. My bathroom needed some cleaning, but of course it wasn’t going to be from me. I swear when I forgot my wash cloth. when I get back to my room it’s dark, not even the blinds are open.

“Kevin?” I whisper out.
“Yes?” My eyes widen in the darkness of the room, that voice…it wasn’t his it was hers.

‘Ding Dong’

I turn my head to the door; when I turn back to face her the blinds were up and letting in all the beautiful sun light and reveling a empty room. My cell starts ringing…It’s Kevin.

I ran to my front door and swing it open.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

“Kevin?”

I stared in utter shock. This isn’t happening, I repeat over and over again in my up head. I pinched my hand, almost drawing blood. I needed to make sure I wasn’t dreaming this. My eyes were fixated on the blue rug between my feet, thinking if I stare at it long enough everything would make some since.

“I cant stay, I have to go to work,” He said while frowning at my hand. He carried the same box, but it was bigger and it didn’t have a good wrapping job at all. “I hope you like it,” He shoved the box between my hands, and pecked my lips gently.

“I’ll see you later, Kay?”
“Bye”

I closed the door behind me slowly. I was suddenly afraid of going back to my room…for many reasons. she’s done a lot of up things, but this was just…I then came to the realization that I may have just a ghost. I threw the yellow box to the floor. I turned on every light in my house, until the sun fully came up. I got the stash from my room…So I could keep my sanity.

I swing the blunt between my two digits before lighting it up. The smoke lingered in the air after I was down to the end of it. I looked up at the clock on my kitchen wall, it was spinning out of control and when it stopped it read: twelve o’ clock exactly. I looked outside…it was pitch-black.

“That’s imposable,” I gasped aloud. I checked the time on my phone, but I saw that I had missed three calls and six texts. Did I fall asleep?

I checked threw my texts, all of them from Kevin asking if I was alright…except one, the number was blocked.

‘Look in ur room’ It read.

My heart dropped to my stomach, I slowly turned my head to the hall leading to my room. Every light, but the one in my room was turned on. My fist tighten at my sides. I wasn’t afraid of her, not at all. I stormed to my room but stopped in my track when I heard her voice from behind me.

“Have you told him…?” Her voice was almost like an echo, but empty at the same time. I didn’t dare turn around.

“I want you gone!” I yell, flustered.

“Have you told him…?” She repeats, completely ignoring my request

“Have I told him what?” I say trying to get this over with.Out of all the people she knew she had to hunt me. My life sucked.

“About all the whores you’ve fucked, besides him,” This time I did turn around, but she was gone.

I place my fingers on my temples.

“I’ve gotta stop smoking weed,” but I couldn’t deny what she said, because it was the truth.
__________

TBC

Duration : 0:0:48

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A part of my first chapter in Mother Earth. Tell me if you like it!?

Posted under Kitchen Wall Clocks by admin on Friday 8 January 2010

I’m an aspiring writer. I love to write when I get the chance and here’s part of my book Mother Earth. Tell me if you like it and maybe i’ll post the rest!
Mother Earth: Book 1
Chapter 1

I woke up early that morning to the sound of my child yelling in my ear. I opened my eyes and saw Gabriel yanking on my bed sheets and him yelling, “Get up! Get up!” I finally rubbed my eyes and sat up. I looked over to where Kyle was supposed to be, but of course it was empty.
Gabriel released the sheets and backed away from the bed. I got up and threw the covers off of me. I headed into the kitchen to see Kyle standing and making coffee.
“Good morning honey,” he said with a grin his eyes on the coffee maker.
“Good morning,” I replied smiling. I went up to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Where’s Susie?”
“She’s still sleeping,” he said pouring the coffee into two mugs. “I wouldn’t dare wake her up this early in the morning.”
I looked at the clock hanging on the wall. It was 6:30. I groaned and looked at Gabriel. He just shrugged, grinning. I sighed and dumped two packets of sugar into the coffee mug and stirred. Gabriel sat on one of the dining room chairs and ate his peanut butter toast, the crust off.
“Did you make me toast?” I asked smiling up at Kyle.
“Yep, it’s right over on the table,” he pointed over to my favorite spot.
“Thank you,” I said and picked up my coffee mug and headed over to the table. Gabriel had peanut butter all over his face and hands. He was still in Kindergarten so, it was explainable. I still had to teach him otherwise, though.
I laughed at him and Gabriel giggled, licking the peanut butter off his fingers. I picked up a piece of toast and bit into it. “Can you get me a paper napkin?” I asked Kyle as he was making himself some toast.
“Is it Gabriel, again?” he asked looking over the half wall dividing the kitchen from the dining room.
“Yep,” I said looking at Gabriel accusingly. He just giggled and got more peanut butter all over himself. I swear I wouldn’t know what to do without Kyle there.
Kyle brought over some paper towels and started cleaning off Gabriel’s face. Gabriel protested with some cries and finally gave up, leaving Kyle just to peacefully clean up his face. Gabriel left the table leaving half a piece of toast which Kyle usually ate after he was finished with his. He was really frugal.
After I finished eating, I cleaned up my area and put my plate on the counter. I sighed and looked up at the clock again. It was a little later, 7:05.
“Should I wake up Susie?” I asked Kyle. He looked up from his toast.
“Sure,” he said looking up at the clock. “But I would warn you, she hates this time.” I laughed and walked into Susie’s room. She was peacefully lying in her light, oak wood crib. Her mattress sheets were white with pink and purple butterflies. The butterflies looked so real that it seemed like they would fly away, but to be truthful that would scare little Susie and we do not want that, now do we? Above the crib was a mobile with butterflies that would spin around and play,” Somewhere Over the Rainbow”.
The walls in the room were purple and the floor was laminate. She had a changing table that matched exactly what the crib was. She had a toy bin that held all of her toy ponies and stuffed animals, except one battered down white bunny lying in the crib next to Susie. Susie was a one year old and was already starting to walk and speak to us. Her first word I remember very clearly. It was Gabriel. It was very sweet, but Gabriel didn’t seem to care much.
I gently picked up Susie and held her in my arms. I rocked her slowly and carefully. She opened her eyes anyway and looked up at me. After a silent moment, she started to cry, good thing I had a pacifier in my open hand and I put it in her mouth. She sucked on it and looked up at me with those big brown eyes.
Susie had fairly long hair, so I usually put that up into a ponytail or pigtails. She had light skin and always looked good in pink or purple. She was wearing pink footsie pajamas with yellow hearts all over it. She was adorable. I held her up to my chest so that she would be looking over my shoulder. I lightly patted her back and tilted my head to the side and kissed her head. Her hair was soft and black.
I headed over to the changing table and took off her pajamas. I slipped on a light purple dress and put yellow socks on her small, delicate feet. I brushed and separated her hair down the middle. I held one of the sides and put a yellow band around that one and then on the other. After tightening the bands and Susie crying a protest, I held her up to examine her pigtails. She looked fine so, I held her to my chest again and patted her back gently as I heard her faint breathing. The feel of her breath against my bare neck reminded me of a cool breeze.
Gabriel opened the door to her room a crack and peered inside. I looked ov

I liked it, but it may need some revising, and an amount of editing. I am also an aspiring author, so I also know how tough itis to continue writing, so just hang in there! This book has the potential to be a best-seller, so do your best and keep writing, because I know you’ll make it there someday.

Tom és Jerry – A láthatatlan egér (1947)

Posted under Kitchen Wall Clocks by admin on Wednesday 6 January 2010

Tom baits Jerry with cheese tied to a string. As Jerry jumps at it, Tom draws it back. On his third try, Jerry makes a fake grab for it but still fails to stop Tom from pulling the string completely back. Jerry meets Tom armed with an iron, and Tom drops it. Jerry moves Tom’s foot and the iron squashes it. Tom chases Jerry up the stairs of the house and both animals slide down the stair railing, but Jerry moves onto an alternate path while Tom is thrown into the wall and a cuckoo clock falls on him, causing Tom to cuckoo.

Tom spots a fireplace blower on the chase and sucks Jerry away from his mousehole. He is tossed into the air, but catches onto the shelf of plates near the ceiling and breaks a plate over Tom’s head. Jerry hides in a bottle in a box labeled Chemo Set as Tom searches for him.

erry gets out and soon discovers he’s half invisible, so he shadows his whole self and has some fun by himself, eating up all the truffles in the bowl and trekking across a table and chairs. Then he finds Tom has set up another cheese/iron trap for him. Jerry walks toward his hole, chomps the cheese and walks away. Tom is puzzled and puts the iron on the nearest table to examine the situation, but Jerry drops the iron on Tom’s foot – again. Jerry stuffs Tom’s tail into an electric socket and gives him a shock. Tom dashes away in fright and exhaustion. He then settles down to milk, but Jerry moves the dish back and forth as Tom clears out his eyelids. Seeing nothing, Tom lays down to drink, but Jerry slurps every last drop and spits it into Tom’s face. Tom checks himself to make sure nothing is hanging from any part of his body, and overcome with exhaustion, draws up a pillow and goes to sleep. Jerry sticks a book of matches between Tom’s toes and lights it with one of the matches. Tom starts to sweat in bed and wakes up. He sees nothing, but then smells the smoke and soon notices his foot is on fire. He dashes over to a piano stool and sticks his foot in the goldfish bowl, putting out the fire. Tom then hears the piano playing with no visible assistance and sticks himself in the belly of the instrument, but Jerry causes the cover to fall on him. Tom sees a banana being eaten of its own accord and then spots the shadow of Jerry on the nearby wall. Tom guesses the truth and manages to land a direct hit on Jerry with a book. Tom grabs at where Jerry was, but Jerry grabs an apple and flees. Tom follows him under a refrigerator and then we see an apple core thrown from underneath. Tom throws flour all over the kitchen.
Jerry, though invisible, can be identified by his shadow, allowing Tom to attempt an attack on The Invisible Mouse.

Jerry, sure enough, sets out, but his footprints can be seen. Tom slaps at Jerry with a frying pan, but Jerry writes a cursive “missed me” in the flour. Jerry is whacked at again and flees. Tom chases Jerry and grabs at where the footprints are, but when he opens his hand, Jerry twists his whiskers. Tom seizes a curtain and covers the mouse’s footprints with it, trapping the mouse in his tracks. Tom gets out a book and starts slapping the mouse, but Jerry escapes unseen from the hold and hits Tom’s rear with a golf club. Jerry takes the chase outside, but Tom stops dead: Jerry is preparing to whack a sleeping Spike with the golf club. Tom can do nothing as Spike is bopped on the head and the golf club is planted on him. Spike is angry and starts whacking Tom with the golf club all around the outside.

Jerry, inside, procures a straw and drinks Tom’s chocolate milk, but this renders Jerry visible again. Jerry, oblivious, continues sipping.

Duration : 0:7:7

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What do my weird dreams mean?

Posted under Kitchen Wall Clocks by admin on Tuesday 5 January 2010

There are two in particular.

Dream 1: I had this one when I was a little girl.
In my dream I was at the church I grew up in. It was dark and I was alone. I was outside when I saw the lights go on in the church. I was afraid but I went in anyway. As I walked into the sanctuary I saw that the pews were filled with ghosts. There were a couple of ghosts on the stage and they told me to join them, so I did. When I got up on stage I saw the clock on the wall was broken. I told the head ghost about the clock and (here comes the weird part) he peed on the clock. It went from the ghost on the stage all the way to the far back wall. I didn’t see any nudity or anything just a long stream. When I looked back at the wall the clock was working. I would wake up after that. I have had this dream twice.

Dream 2: I had this dream last night.
I was in a six bedroom apartment and I was renting out one bedroom. I had the place to myself for a while before two women, a man, and my grandfather moved in the apartment with me. skipping ahead a bit in my dream, one girls eye came out, it was shrivled and small and gross. I picked it up and put it on my keyring. That night I was in my bed waiting for the girl who I figured was a zombie to come and eat me. I was afraid and ran to my grandfather’s room and woke him up to tell him. He sat up in bed and looked at me with a smile on his face when I told him about the zombie girl. His eyes then went cloudy white and he said "I already know" with a scary smile on his face. I ran out of his bedroom and through the kitchen where both girls were eating the mans liver and kidneys, he was just sitting there on the table while they were digiing in with there teeth. I saw them and ran past them outside where I was at my childhood home and started running through the woods until I finally woke up.

Anyone want to try to explain what these dreams mean?

http://www.dreammoods.com/

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