Perl 1, Plain 1.

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the lady behind the wheel was knitting!

The trooper cranked down his window and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"No," the lady yelled back, "It’s a scarf!"

You know when people see a cat’s litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?"

Just once I wanted to say, "No, it’s for company!"

What has three teeth and sixty feet?

The front row at a Willy Nelson concert.

Grouchy

When I went to get my driver’s license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed.
The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license.
He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture."
The woman beside him peered over his shoulder, then reassured him, "It’s okay. That’s how you’re going to look when the cops pull you over anyway."

What Time is it?

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.
"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.
"That is the talking clock", the man replied.
"How’s it work?" the friend asked.

"Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.

Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall.

"KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It’s two o’clock in the morning

Funny
I liked the last two best

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How’s it work?"

"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It’s two o’clock in the morning!"

tink u r very funny hahahahaha if u have more jokes plz tell me i like it plz now ok i wanna laugh cause today my mood is off and this joke make me laugh but now i am still upset allittle plz

After closing time at a local bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
‘What’s that big brass gong?’ one of the guests asked.
‘It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock,’ the drunk replied.
‘A talking clock? Seriously?’ asked his astonished friend.
‘Yup,’ replied the drunk.
‘How’s it work?’ the friend asked, squinting at it.
‘Watch,’ the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering thump and stepped back.
The three stood looking at one another for a moment…….
Suddenly, from the other side of the wall someone yelled, ‘You idiot! It’s three-fifteen in the morning!’

I saw that one in Reader’s Digest. It’s pretty funny!

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple

of his friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom

where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

"What’s that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.

"It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock," the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.

"Yup," replied the drunk.

"How’s it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.

"Watch," the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet,

gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed,

"You a~s~s~hole..it’s three-fifteen in the morning!"

1-10 with your best comment!
Sharin’ my smiles..
SmileyCat : )

lol.. your funny. hahaha
hey people dont answer my questions… think they are all shy lol….

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his
friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a
big brass gong and a mallet.

‘What’s with that big brass gong?’ one of the guests asked.

‘It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock,’ the drunk replied.

‘A talking clock? Seriously?’ asked his astonished friend.

‘Yup,’ replied the drunk.

‘How’s it work?’ the friend asked, squinting at it.

‘Watch,’ the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an
ear-shattering pound, and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, ‘You
a**hole..it’s three-fifteen in the morning!’

LMAO, that’s funny & original thanks for the laugh, have a star.