Watch Your Clock
By Semper Fi Reborn
What time is it?
Can you set your watch,
By the sands of time?
Does your sun dial
Come in digital?
Watch your clock, clock your watch,
We’re running out of time.
We’re soon to lose our minds,
In the daily grind of time.
Watch the price of petro.
The money we let go,
To circuit the metro,
Four dollar gallons?
I break into sweats, so,
The rich can get richer I reckon.
The clock on the wall,
Always eats seconds. Get it?
Or don’t you?
Will you feel it? Or won’t you?
The seconds keep moving,
And the tick is going to haunt you.
Why be alarmed?
Please pardon my pun,
But hon,
The spiral to recession has begun!
Do you you know what time it is?
Watch your clock.
You are a weaver of words’ meanings! Excellent, oh goody!!!
Okay, where should I start? Gotta…too good to let go!
‘Get it? Or don’t you’……not needed in the slightest! Ticks don’t necessarily haunt so much…as they suck blood from the living! ‘But hon’…not necessary. Oh, so much….but, do you really think ‘do you know what time it is’ is neccessary? What about just ‘Watch your clock’ as a BAM ending line….since you’ve been writing of Time all along.
In some places, you’re flat-out ‘telling’ the reader the meaning, instead of ‘letting’ the reader assign their own meaning. You know what I’m talking about, too.
This is SO close to GREAT it’s scarey!
Excellent! (I also contend there is something in the water.)
Addendum: I love that pun! Good ‘un!
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Comment by Bayard Lady — July 22, 2010 @ 7:32 pm
I like this one very much.
I love the originality.
Nice work:)
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Comment by forbidden — July 22, 2010 @ 8:21 pm
An amusing look at time and events unfolding. To circuit the metro, and the tick is going to haunt you are great lines. Also liked the second to last stanza with repetitive rhyme. A fun poem with a message.
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Comment by neonman — July 22, 2010 @ 8:49 pm
I feel it, and I feel it HARD!! All of my ladies are 17 miles away….ONE way! But they love me and I love them, so I shall continue my service of cleaning for them.
They don’t get dirty, don’t throw parties….
They count on me to clean up their potties…
Most of them have an extension or such,
Once they "get down" they "can’t get up."
It’s real and true, and it ain’t funny,
I clean every week
For these independent Seniors.
I love my job, I truly do,
And the Ladies, they love me too!
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Me, The cleaning Lady….
Comment by Reenie: Mom of Marine — July 22, 2010 @ 9:03 pm
Very Good and entertaining and i loved it .Yes Semper Fi i really am watching the time’ and by June the $4.00petro will appear.
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Comment by Cami — July 22, 2010 @ 9:38 pm
Ooh Rah!!! Awesome job there Shipmate! Love the play on words: Why be alarmed? Always eats seconds, etc.
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Retired Navy Journalist – a Gator Sailor!!!
Comment by Andy K — July 22, 2010 @ 9:52 pm
I use the "I reckon" phrase myself a lot since I was 17 or around then, and I always lived up north to this day.
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Comment by Rainbow O'Love76 (((HUGS))) — July 22, 2010 @ 10:11 pm
awesome use of words, i love it. it has a good beat going on.
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Comment by fishers*of*men — July 22, 2010 @ 10:42 pm
So true. The poem gave me goosebumps!
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Comment by Elaine P — July 22, 2010 @ 11:22 pm
o.k. maybe i didnt get the goosebumps but i think it was great..u know country music likes the play on words..may not be your style but it would hurt to throw one thier way
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Comment by lady of liberty — July 22, 2010 @ 11:47 pm
You are a weaver of words’ meanings! Excellent, oh goody!!!
Okay, where should I start? Gotta…too good to let go!
‘Get it? Or don’t you’……not needed in the slightest! Ticks don’t necessarily haunt so much…as they suck blood from the living! ‘But hon’…not necessary. Oh, so much….but, do you really think ‘do you know what time it is’ is neccessary? What about just ‘Watch your clock’ as a BAM ending line….since you’ve been writing of Time all along.
In some places, you’re flat-out ‘telling’ the reader the meaning, instead of ‘letting’ the reader assign their own meaning. You know what I’m talking about, too.
This is SO close to GREAT it’s scarey!
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Comment by elyslund — July 22, 2010 @ 11:55 pm
Nice job…very innovative, thought-provoking and dead on target. (I’m not surprised). Semper Fidelis!
3rd LSB, 3rd FSSG & 1st LSB, 1st FSSG
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Comment by Captain S — July 23, 2010 @ 12:44 am